Electric Velocipede

Wondering what to do with all that extra cash you'll have in your pockets once President Obama's economic stimulus plan kicks in? Well, wonder no more! What better to spend your hard-earned bailout money on than a subscription to Electric Velocipede? Single issues are groovy confections of literary goodness, and the current offering is actually a double issue, jam-packed with more inspired writing than is oft seen on this mortal coil. And, being "electric," it emits no greenhouse gases.

The fact that yours truly has a story contained therein--"A Plague of Banjos"--is merely value added.

A Plague of Banjos by Jayme Lynn Blaschke

When Moses left the Pharaoh, he prayed to the Lord. A great wind arose from the west, and swept away all the locusts, cleansing Egypt.

Seeing this Ramses grew obstinate, just as the Lord had foretold. He summoned Moses and Aaron before his court, and boasted loudly, “Eight plagues have your Lord sent upon the people of Egypt, and we have withstood them all. I will not let your people go. Return now to Goshen with my words, and let all Israelites weep and wail and beat their breasts.”

At this Moses grew angry. “Eight times have you begged forgiveness for your sins, Pharaoh, and eight times has our Lord been merciful. But be warned—the most awful power of the Lord has yet to be revealed! Thus says the Lord: If you refuse to let my people go, tomorrow I will bring banjos into your country. They shall cover your territory so that the ground itself will not be visible. Their noise shall fill the air, so that not even your own thoughts may be heard. They shall corrupt generations of Egyptians yet unborn, and you may cry to your progeny how ruthlessly I dealt with the obstinate Ramses!”

The rest of the story, of course, can be read within the pages of John Klima's Electric Velocipede.