Showing posts with label pirates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pirates. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2009

Pirates of the Somalian Coast

Okay, now I know this is treading dangerously close to Chris Nakashima-Brown turf, but this Somalian piracy plague is becoming quite the melodrama, what with all the hand-wringing in the aftermath of Captain Richard Phillips' rescue. Piracy always seemed cut-and-dried to me, so imagine my surprise to come across this particularly juicy quote:
One official said bluntly that piracy is a crime, not an act of war or even terrorism. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because no decisions have been made, including about whether to expand or change the military's current role in fighting piracy.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the seafaring nations of the world have always classified piracy as a particularly heinous act that transcends mere criminality or acts-of-war. Historically, the military might of afflicted nations has served as the front line in the fight against piracy on the high seas, not the FBI, not Scotland Yard and not Interpol. Methinks the unnamed official hasn't ever listened all that closely to the Marines' Hymn-- the "Shores of Tripoli" ain't included simply because the lyrics fit. You know, the infamous Barbary pirates that plagued U.S. shipping and prompted the two Barbary Wars in the 19th century. Unless my reading of history is in error and repeated viewings of Pirates of the Caribbean have led me astray, this problem is very much a military issue.

Listening to the talking heads on NPR, CNN or MSNBC (and presumably Fox News, although for all I know Bill O'Reilly could be advocating a blanket nuclear barrage) you'll likely hear someone--possibly trying to start a drinking game among college students--repeat that the Somali coastline is almost as long as the eastern seaboard of the U.S. and impossible to fully guard against pirates. Which is patently bullshit. The second part, not the first. The U.S. Navy has close to 300 ships operating, which includes roughly 11 carriers, 22 cruisers, 52 destroyers and 30 frigates. We could lock the Somali coast down if we chose to. And that doesn't count the British, French and other navies. The real issue here is that, from a cost-benefits standpoint, it's not particularly attractive to commit the resources necessary to do so. In short, the shipping nations of the world want to stop the pirates, but they want to do it on the cheap. In this particular scenario, the long-neglected Corvette class of small fighting ships, so effective in World War II against the Nazi U-boat menace in the north Atlantic, would seem to be particularly suited for anti-pirate duty. While the U.S. has only the Littoral combat ship on the drawing boards, the stealthy, fast German Braunschweig seem ideally suited for this kind of anti-pirate work. Pair a handful of these small, fast warships with this little bit of musical wisdom dating back to the '70s, and I'd wager dollars to donuts that the incidence of successful pirate attacks around the Horn of Africa dropped precipitously in a matter of months.



I wonder if President Obama is familiar with the works of C.W. McCall?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"They're still applauding"

The great Howard Waldrop ("That's MISTER National Treasure to you!") has suffered a series of major ailments in recent months, culminating in heart surgery and an extended recuperation at the veteran's center in Temple, Texas. Traditionally, Howard gives the final reading at Armadillocon to close things out (Joe Lansdale and Neal Barrett, Jr. subbed admirably during Howard's years-long exile to the Pacific northwest to fish during the 90s). This year, since he couldn't be at the convention, a novel solution was struck--a round-robin reading of Howard's brilliant "The Ugly Chickens" by a number of con guests, with Howard himself providing the finishing touches via the miracle of modern technology. I'll let Lou Antonelli take it from here, as he was uniquely positioned for the final act:
The reading back in Austin started at 4 p.m. and while Howard's pals back in Austin were reading "The Ugly Chickens" we all visited and had a nice time.

When they got close to the end, Brad called and Barb and Howard began to follow along, so Howard was able to jump in and finish up. Howard's spirits and wit remain strong, but he's still a little frail physically (or else he wouldn't be in the hospital). Since I'm a journalist I always carry a camera, and so I took digital pics for posterity of the event.

What impressed me was how, when he began reading,Howard sounded his old self. It was like he was back at the first Armadillocon. I guess that came through to the folks back in Austin, from all reports. After he finished, Howard just sat there for a while listening on the cell phone. Finally he said with a big smile, "they're still applauding".

Go read the whole report at Lou's blog. It's well worth your time. Also, make sure you add the forthcoming anthology Fast Ships, Black Sails to your must-have list. Howard's got a story therein that is pure Waldropian gold. You will never, ever look at Certain Pirates in the same light ever again.