Saturday, May 30, 2009

America's Most Wanted: Supermax Edition

While Tweeting (@ NB_Chris) the other day about the curious semiotics of the ongoing debate about whether the Guantanamo detainees should be relocated to the "Alcatraz of the Rockies" (properly know as the United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX) Florence, affectionately SUPERMAX), I decided to look and see if I could find any information about who is currently imprisoned there. And discovered a completely mind-blowing roster at the dedicated Wikipedia page. So as you read the debate unfolding in the daily news, consider whether the addition of KSM and co to this mix wouldn't make for the ultimate prison flick. Can you imagine this crew collaborating on a breakout? Casting the big screen version? Batman: Arkham ADX?

Omar Abdel-Rahman, "The Blind Sheik"

Ted Kaczynski, "The Unambomber"

Black Panther H. Rap Brown ("violence is as American as cherry pie)

Enron CFO Andy Fastow

John Walker Lindh, "the American Taliban"

Timithy McVeigh co-conspirator in the Oklahoma City bombing, Terry Nichols

FBI traitor Robert Hanssen

Zacarias Moussaoui, "the twentieth hijacker"

Mexican drug lord Francisco Javier Arellano Felix, aka "El Tigrillo"

Serial killer Michael Swango, the doctor who killed his patients

Shoe bomber Richard Reid

Japanese Red Army bomber Yu Kikumura*

John Gotti lieutenant Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" Gravano

Escape artist Richard Lee McNair

Abortion bomber and wilderness survivor Eric Rudolph

Lucchese crime family underboss Anthony "Gaspipe" Casso

Queens druglord Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff

White supremacist Matt Hale

World Trade Center bomber and Operation Bojinka plotter Ramzi Yousef

Down the street from SUPERMAX is the Colorado Prison Museum, which sells "inmate arts and crafts" in the gift shop. What I wouldn't pay to see what these guys come up with in wood shop.

*(recently released)

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