Saturday, May 23, 2009
DEVOUR APOCALYPTIC ICE
Yes, 7-Eleven is now selling apocalypse-themed Slurpees. The above Schwarzeneggerian command is bannered across the location near my home, and is the first 7-Eleven sign that has gotten my attention in some time.
This blood-orange Slurpee® drink flavor awakens the machine in you with a sweet, citrus taste. Fill your Terminator Salvation collectible Slurpee cup with the Apocalyptic Ice Slurpee drink. It is sure to keep you cool as the weather begins to heat up.
Apparently this Terminator-themed product placement effort goes further than death Slurpees and demonic cyborg collector straws. 7-Eleven paid good money to be featured as one of the landmarks of the post-apocalyptic future:
7-Eleven stores will make the most of their virtual destruction following a nuclear attack in the upcoming Terminator Salvation. The Dallas-based convenience retailer announced what it called its "biggest participation ever in a major motion picture," beginning today (Friday). That participation includes a wrecked store standing in the background as two "mega-machines" battle humans in a major fight scene, toys and video games, an online sweepstakes, and lots of Terminator Slurpee items, including an orange-lychee Slurpee drink called Apocalyptic Ice, produced especially for the 7-Eleven-Warner Bros. tie-in by the Coca-Cola company. The movie is set to open on May 21.
When I go to the mall, I always make a point of imagining it as a post-apocalyptic ruin. And I have purchased inedible cheese dogs and strange foreign foods in some of the world's most dangerous 7-Elevens in my day*, usually in cracked-out hoods. What would be seriously cool—if 7-Eleven created a product placement flagship store, a location in a scary-ass neighborhood that was a perfect simulation of a freshly discovered post-apocalyptic 7-Eleven, partially stocked, including an inventory of dusty vintage magazines from the future, and the last cold beer on the planet. I would totally siphon my gas there.
(*Speaking of which, a tour guide of the world's most dangerous convenience stores would kind of rock.)