Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Hug me or I'll frag you

For the tactically inclined toddler on your Christmas list, you would have a hard time finding a more charming elfin product for an apocalyptic age than this Blackwater baby grizzly, courtesy of Blackwater USA's online store. Yes, ladies, they do have a line of pawed apparel just for you, and yes, Jayme, they do have custom drone Zeppelins available (you know, if you win the lottery). And, if you are feeling the need for some inspiration in the cubicle today, you might try a selection from their gallery of combat Successories.

(I especially dig the Gandalf-worthy face in the sandstorm, just like the horses in that Rivendell river -- further evidence that Osama and fellow white-robed poets of doom are typecast as Istari in the meta-meme.)


Jayme Lynn Blaschke said...

Sweet airship. And you know, once they get their volume orders up, the price will come down dramatically.

Dave said...

"When dark evil . . ." Sweet Jesus, you can't even satirize them anymore.

Christopher Brown said...

Dave, I am ordering you the black sweatpants for writerly comfort during those long Minnesota winter mornings, and the "TRAIN HARD" poster in the hopes that you will write a story to explain the illustration featured therein.

Butner, I think, is more of a "WICKid sleeveless T-shirt kind of guy.

What I really want to know, but have been unable to find, is what exactly the etymology of the corporate name "Blackwater" is (notwithstanding my own demented brain's linking it with an old Brian Eno tune), and what's up with the grizzly paw logo? Contrast it with the corporate anonymity of, say, "Computer Sciences Corp (CSC)" or "DynCorp."

Jayme Lynn Blaschke said...

If I'm remembering it rightly, "Blackwater" derives from their location near the Great Dismal Swamp in North Carolina:

Man, I can't believe I knew a piece of merc trivia that Nakashima-Brown didn't!

Dave said...

I believe Mr. Blaschke is correct RE: the nomenclature. Still, I'm certain they also thought it sounded really kickass.